DARK ARTS PUBLISHING

 










​Inspiration & Belief 

While science has all but replace the dark arts of antiquity like alchemy and witchcraft, we here at Dark Arts Publishing still believe the name has relevance. And that a new, and different, kind of modern-age dark arts still exists but that yet lie dormant in the hearts of unique men. 

To practice this new order of Dark Arts, one must properly cultivate their cynicism of the modern world. And as an important first step, must understand that cynicism lies somewhere below paranoia but above trusting; is not Nihilism but rather closer to distain; and often begins as a nagging feeling you sometimes get when, and after meeting new people for the first time, soon find you dislike them a great deal. 

Opinion There are five possible ways of dealing with the harsh realities of life. They are: alcohol and/or drugs (prescription or otherwise), melodrama (bullshit, really), ignorance, religious practice, and our personal favorite,—writing. 

Writing offers a special kind of release that doesn't necessarily involve drugs but that allows the author to place the drama where it belongs: on the printed page. 

Publishing focus 

Our main focus is on publishing books and stories that satirize and, often, criticize culture and human behavior. Submissions can be anywhere from biographical nonfiction to complete bullshit. 

Problems with the name 

We here at Dark Arts realize that, by calling our company Dark Arts, it may be confused with publishers that publish fantasy and/or other supernatural themes. And while we’re not opposed to publishing in those genres, we recommend your work at least be somewhat critical of human nature, groups of people, and (hopefully) all other ethnicities from that of your own for whatever genre you're writing in. 

Fantasy Example: 
“The knight rode up to the hitching post in front of the old village tavern. A wishing well nearby had an odd smell to it. A sign out front read: ‘curb your horse’. But the sign must have gone unheeded because there were huge piles of shit everywhere and on the grass too. Suspecting elves were to blame, the knight tries to apprise the tavern manager of the of the situation but the manager ignores him because he'd been placed under a spell by wicked elves ...” 

Extended core value 

Another foundational principle here at Dark Arts is that we will literally do anything for money. In fact, we just recently published a series of legal disclaimers because the law firm paid us a good chunk of change to do it. Below is an excerpt. 

"Proper use and handling instructions of the "Shake weight" must be adhered to at all times. Avoiding physical harm to "person" or "persons" or damages to the Shake Weight itself, is the sole responsibility of the owner. Common hazards to watch out for are: (1) punching one’s self in the face after losing control of the Shake Weight because you misused the Shake Weight. (2) possible sexual arousal achieved by men close by with the potential of them raping you because you used the Shake Weight in a provocative manor. [A "provocative manor" may consist of using the Shake Weight as per the instructions on the back of the Shake Weight]. 
If the user in question accidentally sits on the Shake Weight, do not panic. Simply relax your sphincter and depress the emergency shutoff button on the bottom of the Shake Weight [...]" 

Thank you for your interest in Dark Art Publishing

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